Wk 7

Today's Ascension Thursday & Labour Day too.

I was just thinking why is it so difficult to make friends these days. Especially at the work place. Now. I'm working in school so it's somewhat different from the office. There seems to be groups of people in school who're friends with each other and they meet up to sing KTV, drink and all. So it's not an impossible task right?

I was hurt badly yesterday at work. Wanted to drink it off at St James but was quite disappointed. It's less clubbing and more pubbing there as compared to Zouk. The feel's different.

I really want to quit Zouk. Seems like I'm doing it at the expense of my friends. They didn't enjoy the morning of drinks either.

A thought or two about friendships (by Francis Fernandez):

True friendship is without self-interest, because it consists more in giving than in receiving. It does not seek its own interests, but those of the friend. The true friend cannot have two sides for his friend: friendship, if it is to be loyal and sincere, demands renunciation, probity, exchanges of favours and of noble, licit acts of service. A friend is strong and sincere, in the measure that he thinks generously of others, with personal sacrifice on his part - always, of course, in the context of supernatural prudence. In the climate of trust which arises where there is true friendship, a corresponding reaction is to be expected from the other party; one expects a recognition of what we are, and, when necessary, a clear defence without palliatives.(10)

For there to be true friendship, a response is required; the affection and good will have to be mutual.(11) If the friendship is true, it always tends to become stronger. It doesn't permit envy to spoil it. It doesn't grow cold with suspicion. It grows when there are difficulties,(12) up to the point of considering the friend as one's other self, whence St. Augustine says: 'Well did he speak of his friend who called him the other half of his soul.'(13) Then they share their joys and sorrows naturally.

Friendship is, at the same time, a human quality and an occasion for developing many human virtues, because it creates a harmony of feelings and tastes which are quite distinct from sense-love; rather it develops the dedication of one friend to the other, to very high levels - even that of heroism. We believe that meetings... provide the opportunity for noble and virtuous souls to enjoy this human and Christian relationship which is called friendship. It both requires generosity, selflessness, sympathy, solidarity, and, especially, the possibility of making mutual sacrifices.(14)

The good friend does not run away when difficulties arise; a good friend never turns traitor, never speaks badly of the other, and never allows his friend to be criticized when absent. Rather he stands up for him. Friendship involves sincerity, trust, sharing of joys and sorrows, encouragement, consoling, and helping by example.

(10) J. Escrivá, Letter, 11 March 1940
(11) cf St Thomas, Summa Theologiae, II-II, 23, 1
(12) cf St Aelred of Rievaulx, Treatise on spiritual friendship, 3
(13) St Thomas, loc cit
(14) Paul VI, Address, 26 July 1978